The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. "It's heartbreaking to see so many sad little faces with no hope," said Jamal, aged six.
Osama Bin Laden has just appeared in a new T.V. message proving he is still alive. He said, 'The English football team were s*** again'. British intelligence have dismissed it, saying it could have been recorded at any time in the last 44 years.
Q: What does a Netherlands fan do when his team has won the World Cup?
A: He turns off the PlayStation.
Today: France met South Africa in Bloemfontein. Wednesday, England met Slovenia in Port Elizabeth. Thursday, England met France in the departure lounge.
France is going home early from the World Cup again. If only there was a French term for 'deja vu'.
What do you call a Scottish player in the first round of the World Cup? The Referee.
What’s the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.
The toothfairy, Santa Claus, a really good french football player and a homeless dude were walking down the street when they came across $50 note. Who gets it first? The homeless dude, because none of the others exist.
What do you call a good football player in France? A Tourist.