What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
I'm shocked at Wayne Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game. Who knew he could even string a sentence together!
Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"
What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.
What's the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.
Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England's top scorer.
I can't believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten. . . . I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.
What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.
Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door.