Wisconsin Dumb City Laws
• Tattooing is illegal unless it is done for medical purposes.
• It is unlawful for one to allow another to use the first person’s telephone in order to make prank phone calls.
• Screens are required on all windows from May 1 to October 1.
• You are not allowed to put litter into someone else’s trash receptacle without express permission.
• No one may sit on another’s parked vehicle without expressed consent of the owner.
• No male is allowed to be in a state of arousal in public.
• It is illegal to tie up your horse along Third Street (Now a major bar strip).
• It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window.
• It is illegal to play checkers in public.
• You cannot “worry" a squirrel.
• An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.
• It is against the law to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract attention.
• If one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day.
• It is illegal to purchase or use sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.
• Missiles may not be shot at parade participants.
• It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.
• Women may not walk down a public street at night without being accompanied by a man.
• Only police officers may shoot birds in the city.
• No person may water his lawn in such a way as to annoy his or her neighbor.
• It is illegal to swim in the Fountain Park fountain.
• Women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
• Nuclear weapons may not be manufactured in the city limits.
• Persons may not ride a bicycle with their hands off the handlebars.
• Cats are forbidden from entering cemeteries.
• Even if one gets his/her change “stolen” by a vending machine, hitting the machine violates a city ordinance.
• Unremoved snow on one’s property is considered a public nuisance.
• Reserving a city meeting room under a false name is prohibited.
• Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited.
• If a person shall fail to return books he/she has checked out from the library, that person should return their library card to the library until the books are returned.
• Swimming in water fountains is prohibited.