What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids won't eat broccoli.
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
What's the difference between the capital of Russia and a calf's mother? One is Moscow, the other is cow's ma.
Where did the vegetables go to get drunk? The Salad Bar.
Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep.
Where does a one-armed man shop? At a second hand store.
Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? Ta da dump, ta da dump, ta da dump Dump DUMP!!!
Which of these things don't belong: A tuna, a lobster, or a Chinese guy run over by a truck? The tuna. The other two are crustaceans.
Who delivers puppies when the Vet isn't available? The mid woof.
Why can't a woman ask her brother for help? Because he can't be a brother and assist her too.
Why did the big moron fall off the roof and the little moron didn't? Because he was a little more on.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the opossum it could be done.