How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog.
How you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from ducks.
What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam.
What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates? "Well done."
What did one cloned sheep say to the other? "I am ewe."
What did one magnet say to the other magnet? "I find you very attractive."
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
What did one potato chip say to the other? Shall we go for a dip?
What did the painter say to the wall? "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"
What do cats like on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
What do cats like on their hot dogs? Mouse-tard.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.