Free Java! Track Links! Vote Now! HTML Help! Free Clipart! Free Fonts! The Net3Media Network Free Sounds! Web Freebies! Fun Riddles! One-Liners! JOKES! Get Funky! History Files! Funny Pictures! Rebus Puzzles! Get Laughs! Fun Riddles!



One Liners | Stories | Lists/Top 10 | General Audience | Adult Only
Category:  
  Search:  
 
Presently viewing...   The new priest gets drunk!
Audience: General    Humor Rating: 1 1 1 1 1    Category: Religious    Type: Stories
CLICK TO E-MAIL A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:


1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the crap out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.




This joke has a funny rating of    
1 1 1 1 1 out of 5 by 70 readers.    

      Please rate this joke yourself:
Was it funny?
  
Hilarious jokes every day!
Join the Joke-A-Day
Mailing List!


Type your E-mail Address here:
 

PAGE BACK PAGE FORWARD

Follow jokesgalorecom on Twitter





JokesGalore Recommends:
I personally lost 12 pounds in one week
eating cheesesteak pasta, peanut butter bars, and more

   




| Get A Free Joke Site! || Home || Joke-A-Day || Submit a Joke || Link to Us || Advertising || Contact Us |
Copyright © 1998-2012, JokesGalore.com.