One afternoon back in the 1800's, a gunslinger went into the bar and ordered a Yukon Jack. He noticed Frank James at the end of the bar and thought to himself, "man… I could get some tips on being a great gunslinger from him." So he walked up to James and said, "say Frank, could you give me some tips?" James looked him up and down and said, "sure kid, first of all, lower your gun belt on your hip." So the gunslinger lowered the belt, drew his gun, and shot the cufflinks off the piano player!
He then said to James, "that was great Frank, anything else?" James said to him, "sure, cut a notch in your holster where your hammer lies." So the gunslinger got his pocketknife out and cut a notch in his holster, then proceeded to draw again, this time he shot the bowtie off the piano player. Inspired with awe, he said to James, "is there anything else I can do?"
James looked at him, and said seriously, "yes… Do you see that can of axle grease in the corner over there?" The gunslinger asked, "yes, what about it? James told him, "go stick your gun in it." So the gunslinger went over, stuck the barrel of the gun in the axle grease and said, "will this do?" James replied, "no, you've got to stick the whole gun in." The gunslinger then asked, "will that give me a quicker draw?" To which James replied, "no… But when my brother Jesse is done playing the piano, he's going to stick that gun up your butt, and it won't feel as bad!!!