If restaurants functioned like shrink-wrapped (Microsoft) software:
Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there. Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl! Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato. Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check. Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet. Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The check: Soup of the Day . ........... . . . . . . . . . $
5.00 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $
2.50 Access to support . . . . . . . . . . ..........$