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One Liners | Stories | Lists/Top 10 | General Audience | Adult Only
Presently viewing...   Monster One-Liners
Audience: General    Humor Rating: 1 1    Category: Halloween    Type: One Liners
CLICK TO E-MAIL What does Frankensteinís monster call a screwdriver? Daddy.

What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster? Sir.

First monster: I have a hunch. Second monster: I thought you were a funny shape.

How do you address a monster? Very politely.

What should you call a polite, friendly, kind, good looking monster? A failure.

Why was the monster standing on his head? He was turning things over in his mind.

What did Frankensteinís monster say when he was struck by lightning? Thanks, I needed that.

1st Monster: "What is that son of yours doing these days?"
2nd Monster: "Heís at medical school."
1st Monster: "Oh, Whatís he studying?"
2nd Monster: "Nothing, they re studying him!"

What do sea monsters have for dinner? Fish and ships.

Waiter on ocean liner: "Would you like the menu, sir?"
Monster: "No thanks, just bring me the passenger list."

Did you hear about the monster who sent his picture to a lonely hearts club? They sent it back saying they werenít that lonely!

Why did Frankensteinís monster give up boxing? Because he didnít want to spoil his looks.

What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put his goldfishís brain in the body of his dog? I donít know, but it is great at chasing submarines.

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