Massachusetts Dumb State Laws
• It is illegal to give beer to hospital patients.
• Candy may not contain more than 1% of alcohol.
• Shooting ranges may not set up targets that resemble human beings.
• At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
• Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
• An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
• Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
• All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
• Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
• It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
• A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
• No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
• Tattooing and body piercing is illegal. (Repealed in 2000)
• Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
• Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
• Quakers and witches are banned.
• Bullets may not be used as currency.
• Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
• Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
• Public boxing matches are outlawed.