Massachusetts Dumb City Laws
It is illegal to play the fiddle.
Two people may not kiss in front of a church.
No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city.
No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears.
Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except Sundays.
It is illegal to eat peanuts in church.
An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.
Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.
Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common.
No one may take a bath without a prescription.
It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.
You may not walk around with a drink.
It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.
You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street.
If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.
Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.
Silly string is illegal in the city limits.
One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city.
It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.
Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
Sleds may not be coasted down streets.
It is illegal to excavate any city street.
All families must be given a hog from the towns mayor.
An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
In bars, it is actually illegal to walk around with a beer in your hand.