Florida Dumb Laws:
• The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
• One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person.
• Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.
• Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
• Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
• It is illegal to sell your children.
• Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
• A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
• It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
• Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
• Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
• It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
• When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M.
• It is considered an offense to shower naked.
• You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
• Oral sex is illegal.
• You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
• Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.