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Presently viewing...   4th of July One-Liners
Audience: General    Humor Rating: 1 1 1    Category: 4th of July    Type: One Liners
CLICK TO E-MAIL Lots of 4th of July Jokes

Q: What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
A: The Americans licked the British!

Q: Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
A: Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

Q: Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
A: To get to the other tide!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
A: Yankee Poodle!

Q: Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
A: Yeah, it cracked me up!

Q: Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
At the chopping mall!

Q: What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
A: Liberty!

Q: What was General Washington's favorite tree?
A: The infantry!

Q: Which colonists told the most jokes?
A: Punsylvanians!

Q: What would you get if you crossed Washington's home with nasty insects?
A: Mt. Vermin!

Q: What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
A: Revo-lotion!

Q: What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
A:The Fodder of Our Country!

Q: What was Thomas Jefferson's favorite dessert?
A: Monti jello!

Teacher: "Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?"
Student: "I think it was Thomas Jeffer's son."

Q: What did King George think of the American colonists?
A: He thought they were revolting!

Q: Why were the early American settlers like ants?
A: Because they lived in colonies.

Q: What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?
A: John Hamcock!

Q: What did George Washington say to his army at Valley Forge?
A: "Sorry, men. The flights to Florida are all booked up!"

Q: What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?
A: A bald beagle!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?
A: A powdered wigwam!

Q: What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
A: "Keep in torch!"

Q: What ghost haunted King George III?
A: The spirit of '76!

Q: Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
A: He was a Yankee doodler!

Q: What would you get if you crossed an idiot with Yankee Doodle?
A: Yankee Doofus!

Q: What dance was very popular in 1776?
A: Indepen-dance!

Q: Which one of Washington's officers had the best sense of humor?
A: Laughayette!

Q: "How was the food at the Fourth of July picnic?
A: "The hot dogs were bad but the brats were wurst!"

Q: What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?
A: "Next time I'm going to reserve a seat!"

Teacher: "Why did Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?"
Student: "Because his mom wouldn't let him play with the chainsaw!"

Teacher: "The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. True or false?"
Student: "False! It was written in ink!"

Q: What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?
A: Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer!

Teacher: "Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?"
Student: "An eye doctor?"

Q: Why did the duck say "Bang!"?
A: Because he was a firequacker!

Q: What cat said, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"?
A: Paw Revere.

Q: What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
A: The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

Q: The difference between a duck and George Washington is:
A: One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill!

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