Lots of 4th of July Jokes
Q: What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
A: The Americans licked the British!
Q: Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
A: Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
Q: Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
A: To get to the other tide!
Q: What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
A: Yankee Poodle!
Q: Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
A: Yeah, it cracked me up!
Q: Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
At the chopping mall!
Q: What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Q: What was General Washington's favorite tree?
A: The infantry!
Q: Which colonists told the most jokes?
Q: What would you get if you crossed Washington's home with nasty insects?
A: Mt. Vermin!
Q: What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
Q: What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
A:The Fodder of Our Country!
Q: What was Thomas Jefferson's favorite dessert?
A: Monti jello!
Teacher: "Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?"
Student: "I think it was Thomas Jeffer's son."
Q: What did King George think of the American colonists?
A: He thought they were revolting!
Q: Why were the early American settlers like ants?
A: Because they lived in colonies.
Q: What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?
A: John Hamcock!
Q: What did George Washington say to his army at Valley Forge?
A: "Sorry, men. The flights to Florida are all booked up!"
Q: What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?
A: A bald beagle!
Q: What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?
A: A powdered wigwam!
Q: What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
A: "Keep in torch!"
Q: What ghost haunted King George III?
A: The spirit of '76!
Q: Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
A: He was a Yankee doodler!
Q: What would you get if you crossed an idiot with Yankee Doodle?
A: Yankee Doofus!
Q: What dance was very popular in 1776?
Q: Which one of Washington's officers had the best sense of humor?
Q: "How was the food at the Fourth of July picnic?
A: "The hot dogs were bad but the brats were wurst!"
Q: What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?
A: "Next time I'm going to reserve a seat!"
Teacher: "Why did Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?"
Student: "Because his mom wouldn't let him play with the chainsaw!"
Teacher: "The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. True or false?"
Student: "False! It was written in ink!"
Q: What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?
A: Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer!
Teacher: "Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?"
Student: "An eye doctor?"
Q: Why did the duck say "Bang!"?
A: Because he was a firequacker!
Q: What cat said, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"?
A: Paw Revere.
Q: What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
A: The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
Q: The difference between a duck and George Washington is:
A: One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill!